Monday, March 21, 2005
I miss constructing deviant graphics on photoshop T_T Too bad this pc's still not in good condition.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...4:17 PM
The future-advertiser...?
Hello. Just as I've told Lawrence, I'll advertise their sites here. hehehe..
This is the story Andy and Lawrence have been making for the past years..? Click here -
http://www.whatisthefate.tk/
And if you wanna take some time to relax...
http://www.poemoftheyear.tk/
Well.. I'm still damn bored. hayy
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:59 PM
There's a little cavity in my heart.
Everyday, it grows a little bigger, until every beat is like a blow to the chest that leaves me gasping in pain. Giving me a hard time to breathe.
I don't know when it started. I don't know if it'll end.
Right now it's a struggle everyday to just open my eyes in the morning and get out of bed.
It's been with me for as long as I can recall...this hole. This cavity. It twists and turns on itself sometimes, shrinking and stretching and tearing and gnawing until I think I'm screaming my tongue out, but I'm not.
How long?
How far?
How long has it been?
How much further will it go?
Rise, fall, rise, fall. Place one foot in front of the other.
There's no thought behind the movement anymore, only a deadened determination to continue plowing on mindlessly without really knowing why, a failing dried-up determination that is slowly deteriorating each day.
Every morning I fight a losing battle with it, the cavity that is spreading and slowly eating me whole.
Sometimes, a little light falls through my window, and I try to take the remnants and sew up the wound with a few threads of hope. But usually before I can finish, a clouds obscures the sun outside, cutting off the light. Darkness falls, I am prevented from completing the job.
But I know...
Even without the clouds, these few frail threads are not enough to span the hideously wide chasm the once-small cavity has become.
It's become such that each tenous thread does not bind...but only peirces.
As such, I am now afraid to grab onto any of these tendrils. These spiderweb lifelines in their tender fragility would only break and throw me down to a new depth.
Even so, I try to contain it, and I try not to let it show.
But one day I open my eyes and I discover that the cavity is no longer within me.
I'm now inside of it.
Woe, agony, torment...it's what the cavity is made of. Depression engulfs me. I try to run from it, but it apprehends me even as I turn to make a break for it.
...This is my last try, because I simply do not have the strength left in me for another attempt. This time, I've been running for days. I woke up and I just ran and ran and ran.
Rise, fall, rise, fall of empty chest. Place one foot in front of the other.
Breath coming in hard and jagged now, fluids rushing to knees and turning them into jelly.
This is the limit. My foot hits something hard and I come to a sudden stop, collapsing into a heap on the flat gray stone that had brought me to a halt. Fingertips brush lightly across a rough uneven surface, a coarse texture cut into smooth stone.
My eyes are hazy from weariness and tears that I didn't knew I'd shed.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...12:40 PM
Not fit to be best in deportment...?!
I ditched graduation practice today. We were instructed to have lunchbreak for about 45 minutes. But I never came back. Waheheheh I'll be toast for sure!
Oh and everyone's making a fuss about my new hair style. Bummer. I don't like it! Nevermind why. I won't post it here anymore. Long story, really. For the past 2 days all I've been hearing from my batchmates and teachers were...
"Bakit ka nagpagupit?"
"SAYANG buhok mo!!!"
"Hindi na sunod sa galaw!"
"Naks new hair style"
"Wow! You look fresh"
"Sayang baket mo pinaiksian?"
"bagay sayo.. di nga.. bagay sayo"
"Uy, dalaga na sya"
"You look younger"
"Uy nagpapaganda para kay..."
"Sayang ang haba haba na ng hait mo eh"
"2 years pa yan bago tumubo uli ng ganun kahaba"
"You look HOT"
at lalong lalo na, lage kong nadidinig yung...
"SORRY SA BAGONG BUHOK MO!"
Damn it people! Leave my hair alone! hehehe.. And then earlier this morning, during grad. practice, we were rehearsing our "getting-the-diploma-routine" And as usual, since my surname starts with a "V" I was second to the last to be called. After me was Akie. When the emcee said, "Verzonilla, Karla Eliza, E." I got up to the stage and then everyone just started clapping and shouting so loud! They kept on saying "Bagong gupit! Bagong gupit!" Haha PAGTRIPA DAW BA KO?! eheheh Everyone was cheering for me. Waheheh I was a bit embarrased. But it's okay. Still I regained composure and did the routine. wahehehe!!! (Bida nanaman?!) haha LOL!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...11:23 AM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Heya.. I'm still adjusting to this new layout. Some of the codes aren't working as I expected. Ugh. I'll have to fix those later. I have no classes today! *Yipee!* Boredom is killing me. I hate being a BUM. *grin* Maybe I'll go out later with Cris, hopefully. errr.. can't stand this silence anymore. Mom's still in the hospital and hopefully she'll be allowed to go home maybe tonight.
Oh Guess what?! *drum roll* Another award will be given to me this Friday and I invited mom and dad to come. I'll be getting my medal for being best in economics and another certificate for being best in deportment. *claps* I told Dad the good new last night and he gave me money to treat out some friends. And besides that, they'll buy me whatever I want as a reward. Lucky me eh?! Wahehehe.. It feels good to be top1 waheheheheh!!!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...9:23 AM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Hehe.. New layout. I spent 4 hours doing it. I fixed the code for the title at last. The contents are still the same.
I'll end ithere. My eyes hurt. I need to get some shut-eye.
P.S.
Oh! I almost forgot.
To: Pretentious(Kim), here's my ym id:
choose any..
purpleadik05 or blasphemousbiatch or m0rbidmelancholy
PM ka nalang.. Now that I posted it here, you'll have no more excuses for not telling me what's going on with some.... stuff. Hmfpt!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...4:57 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
~bleeding...~
silent_incantations
were spoken at...9:22 AM
Thursday, March 10, 2005
~A very very late post~
This was supposed to be posted umm last week. But since I was so busy, I forgot all about this and it sinked along with the other old posts. I'll post it anyway..
I went to Gateway with some of my classmates(Chen,Carlo and Keiji). But before going there, we hanged out at Keiji's place for a while to take a rest.
We watched the movie "Hitch" Then we saw Reynolds and Ady.
Tadaaa!
I'm so amazed with the ceiling T_T
Me and Chen in the.. darkness
Carlo and Keiji
After the movie, we ate at the foodcourt.
Yummy!
Then the next day, it was Schedar's birthday so we went to eat at Yellowcab at Katipunan then headed to Robinsons Galleria and watched again. We watched Quiji Board...? I forgot the spelling! Mann I was so freaked out! I kept on screaming and my classmates kept on laughing at me wahehehehe
And yes, we took a lot of pictures again, obviously. Why? Paki nyo. Gusto namen mag piktyur piktyur eh! wahehee We don't usually take pictures when we go out but since graduation day is coming up, we'll be parting ways soon. And we won't be able to go out like this or take pictures just for fun anymore. *tear drop* That's why we grab the chance to capture moments of our last moments together. ^_^
silent_incantations
were spoken at...11:42 AM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
~I've run out of titles~
Waaaahhh!!! It's so boring!!!! Taena sarap uminom. But I can't. grr!!!
Well today, Iwent home about 1:30 PM. I'm just taking care of my clearance and then... wallah! graduation! It's so boring at school. I spent the whole day doing my 1st and 2nd quarter notes at Economics. And then while we were at the mini-theater, I started writing my notes on Filipino. Ugh! The pressure! I've only got 4 teachers to sign on my clearance today. The others subjects are will be signed maybe next week pa. Mann, the boredom is killing me! Walang magawa sa skul. And Nikki was absent today so I hanged around with Keiji and the others at the Library.
Then me and Jules had a little bonding. *laughs* Grabe, I didn't know Jules was so..so.. good at giving advices, like Nikki. Nahawa na ata kay Nikki. I opened up some issues to him regarding... some stuff about.. basta. Cguro mga 1 hour rin kami nagusap about some serious "love" matters. And he gave me some good advices. Di ko akalaing ganun sya. And I never thought those words would come out from someone like him. He's often quiet, and not outspoken but he opened up some stuff to me too which definitely surprised me. And it's our little secret. eheheheh *winks*
Oh I almost forgot. To that person who borrowed my Economics notebook last 3rd quarter, and never returned it, MAY YOUR STINKIN CORPSE ROT IN HELL YOU ABHORRENT CLEPTOMANIAC!!! Because of you I had to re-write all the nore from 1st to 2nd quarter. And take note, it's more than 50 pages. And I had to re-write them be hand.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...6:35 PM
~New PULPcommunity message board~
I don't like it really. I dunno why. And they're gonna replace the old one for good! Aww.. it makes em feel sad. Dami memories ang natatandaan ko sa message board na yun. (And gawa pa yun ni Cris ko) Yeah,it's more organized now. But, for some reason, I like the old one better. I mean, it looks just like the other forums you can see in the internet. And it's giving me the creeps! It's reminding me of.... basta.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...6:08 PM
~The paranoid parents~
Haha.. Guess what? my parents are so paranoid right now. Why? 'Coz my sister(Karen) went to her classmates house and I think she didn't tell mom and dad. So now, they keep on calling the driver and asking where Karen is. tsk tsk.. poor us.. How will we ever be independent?! Karen is already 13 years old and there's nothing to worry about her going to her classmate's house.
Little did they know, I used to go to Robinsons all by myself when I was in 1st year highschool. And now, they're all making a fuss about Karen's little escape-to-her-friend's-house. And now they're even forcing me to disconnect from the internet so that Karen can call. FUCK!!! OohHh.. They're so worried about they're goddamn daughter.
I'll end it here..Dad's starting to get furious. Bye.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:32 PM
~The real blasphemous biatch~
oooooohhhh I am SO BAD!!! I did something ahem.. EVIL today *wicked laugh*
Serves you right you Bitch
silent_incantations
were spoken at...12:29 PM
~blu-utooth~
Here are some of the pics taken during our Illiad pictorial..
There's ENGKA's realm(BALETE) Waheheheheheh!!! ENGKAAAAAA!!!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...11:32 AM
Monday, March 07, 2005
~SUNAL~
If you're not from 4-Freedom, you'll never understand what that word(the title) means. Anyways, last Tuesday, me, Keiji, Joey and Benmar went ate at World Tops. Then they insisted on discussing the "happenings" during their overnight at Shangri-La and I was not permitted to stay by my parents. T_T So they started..
"blah blah and blaaaahhh"
I was so freakin' jelous! I could've done something wild too or maybe drank a lot like them. Oh woe is me. T_T Anyways, while they were eating, I decided to take a picture of them. ^_^
(left to right- Jules, Benmar, Keiji)
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:49 PM
~PROM pix~
Here they are... as I promised.. I've managed to take only a few pictures due to my cellphone's low memory.. ^_^
The Venue.. At Shangri-La Hotel..
There are some more.. but I won't post them anymore.. Wahehehhe..
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:24 PM
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
~PROM~
Ok.. so this is the happier post about my prom. My classmates, Joey and Benmar picked us(nikki and me) up at my house and headed to Shangri-La Hotel. Then we picked up EriKa and Jeline at Ystilo, Morato. We got there around 6 or 6:30. There were already a bunch of people there. First we went up to our room. And nag-retouch kami ng make up. Margaux's mom was there and she was being very kind. She helped us tighten up our gowns. (Her daughter, Margaux, is a wacko. I'm not kidding) And I kept on recieving these compliments that I am or I became.. uhh.. slim. Wahehehehe.. (Lumaki ulo ko syempre) Pero it's true, I do look slimmer with my gown.I'll show you what it looks like when I get the blutooth.
Then we headed downstairs to the function room. There were a lot of handsome guys. *drools* Especially Andy. nyahahahah.. I was also worried about me having the same dress with some one. 'Coz I bought mine at Sari-sari and there's a big chance na may makapareho ako. Well, I saw no one with the same dress. But there was this one girl that had the same style with my gown. And it was AKIE. (HOY! ikaw talaga eheheheh)
'Twas pretty much the same. Same activities.. the rest is history. (It's pretty boring, I won't elaborate it anymore.) After all the awardings, we went back to our room to change for our swing apparel. We all wore cocktail dresses. And masyado palang maikli yung saken.
Then we went back to the function room and waited for our turn to dance. Oh yeah.. uhh.. the dance.. I'd rather not talk about it. heheheh... To make the story short, nadulas ako when it was our(jonathan and me) turn to take a bow infront of everyone. I stepped on Jonathan's foot by accident. And I almost got out of balance. Waaahh! The humiliation! But I was surprised the audience cheered us loudly despite of my clumsiness. *giggles*
After that, was dinner. It was a buffet. Since we already know that the line will be a very very long one, we decided to grab a lot of food, and I mean a LOT. I was so full. And me and the girls had a hard time tucking in and minimizing our tummies. *wicked laugh*
I had lotsafun, though I cried. (read my previous post, down there..) I'll upload the prom pics once I get the blutooth from my cousin. ^_^
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:52 PM
~As expected, I cried...~
Hey, So prom has just ended.I was excited yet kinda down at the same time. WHY? Coz I wasn't permitted to stay overnight at Shangri-La. And I'm really pissed. 'Twas about past 12 midnight when I recieved a text message. I was dancing with.. I think Joey.. and then.. *buttmann doorooorooroo buttmann!* (it's my wav message tone heheh) 'twas a text from my dad that said.. "wat tym k uwi?" Damnit. It's too early to go home!!! So..I didn't mind it and continued on dancing with my classmates. And then after several minutes, *buttmann doorooorooroo buttmann!* it's another message that said.. "d2 nko back entrance" F!@#$% Taena.. badtrip talga.. My other classmates insisted that they'd talk to my dad and ask my dad if I can stay overnight. But for some reason, they backed out 'coz it might give my dad a bad impression that I'll do something wacky or stupid with my friends. Duh?!
My classmates walked me up to the lobby and we had some conversations about the "incentives" (I'll tell you about that later..) Then I started crying.. And I my make up was ruined. Good thing the prom already ended.
And so I left the hotel in tears.. I turned back to take one final look at my friends and they were all standing there. Aww..(na-touch ako)
Then dad asked me.."musta naman prom? masaya?"
I answered "umm... (the truth is I didn't say anything at all.)
Dad knew I was crying. Though I tried hard to hold back my tears. It's a sad moment for me.. Leaving the hotel, all the "plans-to-do-at-prom" came rushing into my head and it really really made me down 'coz I can't do any of those plans. *a big sigh*
silent_incantations
were spoken at...12:58 PM