Friday, December 31, 2004
~Beerthday ko na!~
Yes..December 31 is my beerthday. Peculiar isn't it? I don't know anyone who has the same birth date as mine except Christ. yehey! it's mah beerthday.. but no beer allowed. bummer - THAT SUCKS!!! Konting tiis nalang naman eh.. hehehe After a few years, I'll be able to drink all I want and whenever I want. *evil laugh* I know I'm suppose to be happy cuz today's my beerthday, so why ain't I happy? Why does birthdays seem to be more lonesome when you get older? Pero kung tutuusin, ito siguro ang pinakamsayang beerthday ko simula nung ako'y naging "teen" cuz I was touched that my classmates and friends even my ex's greeted me exactly after midnight... Grabe sunod sunod at sabay sabay sila lahat nagtext di ko na nga mareplyan lahat. Nakakatouch lang talaga *tear drop* =)
This morning, Mom was asking me what I want for my birthday... di ako nakasagot. Well I can't thik of any. (what do I want..? what do I want..?) I was suppose to answer... - My own apartment *laughs* haha But I know they'd detest that. Well there is one thing I really wanna have. I don't want something. I want someone. =(
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:42 PM
Thursday, December 30, 2004
~Geek...?!~
Kanina nagkita or nagkakitaan kami ni Geek or Cris sa sm fairview sa Pizza Hut. hihih.. After all this time, dun lang pala kami magkikita hehe.. I was so nervous of seeing him there that I lost my appetite. I barely ate my spaghetti. Waaahhh! Basta, I can't descirbe the feeling I felt seeing him there. We were eating at the same restaurant and only 5 or 6 feet away from each other. To tell you the truth I didn't know how to behave yesterday when I saw him pass by our table. I was in stupor!! Imagine seeing your ex-bf there with your family. hehehe Even my family was startled when he came rushing in like hunting someone. Even the staff was bewildered when he came in. *laughs*
It was nice seeing him eat from a distance. I could see him staring at me at times. And I try to take a glimpse at him when he's slicing his pizza *laughs* A lot of things ruminated in my mind like... should I go there..? eat wit him..? pass by his table...? waaahh! Well I didn't have the chance to do all of those things cuz we left early. *sigh* Well kahit saglit lang yun.. atleast nakita ko sya...
In that bit of time, I envisaged moments lost, and what might have been if only... toooooooooooottt!!! =P~
~nuff sed~
silent_incantations
were spoken at...8:11 PM
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
~Nihility~
Im in oblivion.
A trifling being
Unworthy of serious attention.
I am the opposite
of what you think is perfect
I am a devious being
with no entity
broken and lost
roving around
in this beguiling paradise
with emotions
feeding my mind
with false hopes and dreams
I am a black page
with no content
nor words written
I am nebbish
a nil.
a dross
trivial.
inutile.
I am a deadpan.
blank and useless. =(
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:59 PM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
~I left you bleeding once again...~
Again..
you bleeded
as I bashed you
with those words.
woeful words
like knives
that again, kissed your flesh
and made you bleed.
And now you're lost
amidst the infinite abyss
bleeding
and
wretched.
twinged
and
wounded.
dismantled.
While me
on the other side..
is being tormented
by those words I uttered
that destroyed your faith.
and now I'm here.
in the verge of dementia.
distressed.
uneasy.
restless.
haunted by your vehement cries .
So I wake up from oblivion
and sojourned you in the
infinite abyss where
I left you alone
and bleeding.
For I cannot bear
the thought
of you
suffering
sempiternal woe.
So I'll mend the broken pieces
of your heart
and make it whole once again.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...3:24 PM
~Pakyu..ewan wala lang ako sa mood.~
shit. I'm so nervous right now. I'm so tense and the aircon here makes me more agitated. It's so chilly here, my fingers are all so frigid..so it's kinda hard for me to type. errr... *grin* Why am I so skeptical about...IT? and everything!!.. Damn it. Why do I have to be dubious about these things?! Why do I ruminate these thoughts over and over in my mind?! I just wish these thoughts would evanesce!! To think, I don't have to be this way. I dont wanna be this way. I don't wanna feel this "feeling" anymore. *grin*
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:31 PM
Monday, December 27, 2004
~Yey!~
(this was also saved as draft kaya ngayon ko lang naayos at napost)
I recieved a lot of gifts and I'm still going to recieve more for my birthday! ahhihihi
Lookie!! heheh my classmates gave me these..
ahihihi.. mowr!!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...10:20 PM
~December~
Finally~! I've logged in to my blog after decades(OA) of difficulty with spyware. A lot of things has happened this month
- Another death in the family
- My sister's birthday (Dec 20)
- FPJ's death! - sumalangit nawa.
- Dimebag Darell's death - too bad.
At syempre meron pang mga okasyon na darating tulad ng...
- birthday kO!!!! (Dec 31)
- Dad's birthday (Dec 30)
- And my cousin's birthday too (Dec 29)
This year, we're planning to celebrate the New Year at "The Fort" I guess..A bunch of relatives are planning to come too. The whole family's gonna be there. This is the first time we're going to spend new year at The Fort. And mom suggested that we'd be exchanging gifts. This is a first also. I'm getting excited actually. And my birthday's coming near. (4 days nalang!) hehe.. I'm a year older..
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:12 PM
Thursday, December 23, 2004
~WishList~
(this was saved as draft kaya ngayon ko lang napost.)
This is the list of things I want for christmas at sa birthday ko na rin - Dec.31 (pagbigyan nyo n ako hehe nangangarap lang naman) ehehe ipo-post ko parin
- new cellpone. I'm getting tired of my 3610 nyahaha
- iPOD
- umm..beer?
- more bracelets! (yeah!)
- Album ng Malice Micer
- my freedom from....(sikret)
- beer ulit!
- Album ng Finch(nawala eh)
- My independence
- contentment
- happiness and good health
- beer pa!
- Matupad yung matagal ko nang pinapangarap na mangyari.
Hayun.. pero di kumpleto yan. Di ko na nilagay yung pinaka gusto ko. Kasi lam ko di na naman makukuha =(
silent_incantations
were spoken at...1:48 PM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
~Say Your Goodbyes~
"Say Your Goodbyes"
The end has now begun
Because I know you've found someone
You say you need to move on
I'm losing, you've won
Go live your life with another
I know that i should too
But i keep thinking of good times
I keep thinking of you
But i wouldn't fight this battle
I know I'd only fall
So to keep my world turning
I got to build this wall
chorus:
I'm letting you go
Cause i see it in your eyes
That you're no longer mine
No need to apologize
About the secrets and lies
And the reasons you've improvised
So stop reminiscing, baby
Say your goodbyes
I can make your life so much easier
you won't be hearing me cry
Go and run to the other
No, I won't question you why
Coz i can't run the mile for you
To find you ain't there
I can?t be your fool come on
Let's end this affair
(repeat chorus)
(adlib)
Coz I can?t afford to keep
Falling back to our past
It's driving me crazy oh
I got to think fast
(repeat chorus)
This song... it's so...so heartbreaking but it's also some sort of solace. It pacifies my my tristful soul.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:47 PM
Saturday, December 18, 2004
~Geekdom~
La lang. I'm so pissed with what happened today. I won't mention what happened. *sigh* I've discovered a "geek" website. And I signed up as a member. Nakakaaliw lang talga basahin yung mga contents *laughs* It's got "levels of geekdom" , rules, geeky wisdom stuff etc.. hehehe In short, it's really a website for GEEKS. *sigh* I'm amusing myself despite of the wistful and gloomy ambience here. *sigh* I had such a bad day. I haven't been heeding my family the whole day. (!@#$%^) err...
silent_incantations
were spoken at...7:02 PM
Friday, December 17, 2004
I'm still waiting for his call. I'm starting to lose my patience *errr* It's almost 11 PM hayy... I'm currently listening to spongcola.. *tic toc tic toc*
silent_incantations
were spoken at...7:52 PM
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
~Irresistable taste of beer~
I'm drinking here at home! (WHAT?!) Yes. You read it right. It's almost 10:30.. Mom and Dad together with my other tito's and tita's are on their way to one of my grandmothers' wake. And as for me, I have the whole night to get drunk! yipee! I hope my brother doesn't get out of his room. If he does, I'm busted! Hmmm.. I can hear Kitchie Nadal's "Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin" right now from the maid's radio. Hmmm... Is this a sign?! Oh well... He's probably having loads of fun right now with his fwendz.. probably drinking too. So I should also! hahahaha... La lang.. ang saya ko ngayon. Ngayon lang uli ako nakainom. Tagal na rin. Can't remember the last time na uminom ako. Hayy.. I should've bought some more.. Paubos na *cries* huhuhu. =( I just hope I don't get a hang over tomorrow cuz I have a test!!! WaaahhH!!! I should be studying right now. I'm currently talking to Lea and Drei -my consience.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...7:29 PM
~MIDNIGHT CONFABULATION~
Staring:
Karla as CHOCNUT - nalalaseng na wahehehe
Lea as KONSENSYA KO - Lea-tot ang aking konsenya
Drei as LAMBANOG - may amats daw!
KONSENSYA KO: What are you doing karla? Shouldn't you be studying for your computer exam?!
CHOCNUT: that's what i'm doing!
CHOCNUT: I'm infront of the computer.. dba computer exam yun? hahahah
KONSENSYA KO: palusot ka pa!!!
CHOCNUT: Huh? I'm... I'm...
LAMBANOG: STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!
CHOCNUT: Waaahh! Baket TOP1 naman ako ah!
KONSENSYA KO: Oh so that's enuf for you eh?
CHOCNUT: uh.. I..I.. Uhmm.. errr...
CHOCNUT: *covers her ears*
KONSENSYA KO: HOY MAG ARAL KA NA!!!
CHOCNUT: Pakyu ka!!!
LAMBANOG: Pakyu ka rin!!!
CHOCNUT: Mas Pakyu ka!!! TAE!!! UTOT!!! TAE KA!!!!!!
LAMBANOG: hahaha laseng ka ata eh
CHOCNUT: huh? di ah! *whistles*
LAMBANOG: Uy, sabe ni Biboy hi daw
KONSENSYA KO: sino? kanino?
LAMBANOG: Sayo.. hi din daw karla-tot
CHOCNUT: Sinong Biboy? sa IRC?
LAMBANOG: Uo.
CHOCNUT: hahahaha.. sabihin mo PAKYU SYA!!!
KONSENSYA KO: uy, sabe ni ina gwapito yun ah
KONSENSYA KO: type ka ata karla!!! ahahah karir ba?
LAMBANOG: uuuyyyyy... hahahahaha jowk!!!
CHOCNUT: ULOL!!! YUCK YOKO NGA! panget nun e!!!
LAMBANOG: ano gusto mo?
CHOCNUT: gusto ko LONG HAIR ahaha para talian ko buhok
CHOCNUT: yoko nun. gusto ko payatot. :D at long hair!
CHOCNUT: prang dti bahbah ku
LAMBANOG: pa-long hair na ko?
CHOCNUT: baket?
KONSENSYA KO: hmmmmm.... hahahaha... drei ha
CHOCNUT: ay wet lang.. alis na muna ko.. byebye :p
KONSENSYA KO: huy wag naman!!! san ka punta?
CHOCNUT: la lang..
KONSENSYA KO: umiiwas oh
CHOCNUT: huh? oi di ah.
KONSENSYA KO: ano iniinom mo? mag aral ka na loka!!!
CHOCNUT: redhorse.. sana wag ako magka hang ober bukas. takas lang toh eh.. di ako pwede uminom! hahahaha
LAMBANOG: heheh.. tumagay ako ng 8 na basong lambanog haha bitin!
CHOCNUT: yoko lambanog. pero naka taste na ko.
KONSENSYA KO: I don't drink, I'm a good girl.
CHOCNUT: hahaha talaga lang ha?
LAMBANOG: tagay pa ko! gusto nyo?
CHOCNUT: uy teka lang! dinig ko sa radyo si kitchie.. BRB ha!
CHOCNUT: mag sesenti muna ako! =(
KONSENSYA KO: senti ha? para kanino?
CHOCNUT: shikuretoOoOoOo...
CHOCNUT: miss ko sya.. lalo na pag lasing ako. sobra
LAMBANOG: sino??!
CHOCNUT: sikreto nga eh :p
CHOCNUT: sige bye muna. senti/emo mode muna
KONSENSYA KO: hahahah! LOL!
(Drei, Lea ayan nilagay ko na ahahha.. )
silent_incantations
were spoken at...7:23 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
~Shopping Spree~
I'm keeping myself busy these days.. espacially TODAY! I won't mention why.. Who would care anyway?
We went to SM Fairview to eat lunch then headed straight back home. Mom forced me to go with the family today and went to Greenhills and bought some stuff. I was supposed to stay here at home coz I was definitely not in the mood for shopping and I didn't feel so well. But it was a good thing she persuaded me to come coz now I have a new pair of shoes! yipeee :p And it costs only 450. hahaha Mom's so good at "bargaining stuff." The place was so crowded we could barely move. So while walking, I had to hold on to my brother's shirt so I wouldn't be left behind! *grin*
Anyways.. on our way back, I sat on the back of the van. While Dad was roaming around greenhills, I was looking for a "certain building" hmmm... guess what?! shikretoOoOo.. (CLUE: he's previous office) hahahahah.. *whistles* Near Country Waffles...? bwahhahahaha..!!!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...4:39 PM
Saturday, December 11, 2004
~Incarcerated Emotions~
Minsan sa sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari di mo na magawang magisip. Parang di mo na magawang huminga dahil naninikip na yung dibdib mo dahil sa galit at poot. At minsan wala ka namang magawa kundi umiyak. Kung di ka iiyak, bka masira kalooban mo. Sa bilis ng paglipas ng panahon, di ko akalain na may mga nangyayaring di ko inakalang dadating. Yung mga pangyayaring tila wala nang solusyon. Oo.. alam ko may solusyon lahat ng problema pero minsan may mga problemang sunod-sunod na di mo na alam kung ano ang gagawin at paano ayusin. Tapos sa kaloob-looban mo parang sasabog ka na. Mga emosyon nagsama sama.. galit, poot, "pag-aalinlangan", inis, "selos", dami pa. Ito Yung mga emosyon na minsan di na mapinta ng mukha dahil isinasaloob. Tang ina. Ang hirap kimkimin ng mga toh... =(
silent_incantations
were spoken at...4:06 PM
Thursday, December 09, 2004
~Piktyur! Piktyur!~
Here are some pictures of me and my classmates during our practice for Illiad. I captured all of it with my cellphone. Lookie!!!
Mga Crush ng bayan!! Andy(left) and Jules(right)
Ang starstruck pose namen hahaha
Pose by the pool. Ako yung gurl sa pinakataas. from top(reynolds, karla-me!, keiji, joey, regine, andy, soleil-director namen!)
mas madami na kami dito! Once again.. ako yung girl sa pinakataas.. from top ( reynolds, karla-ako!, carlo, andy, regine, keiji, joey, jules, nikki, soleil )
pahabol...
eto pic namen ni Chen sa Subic beach.. Nung fieldtrip namen... dito rin kung saan naging sila Jules at Nikki!!! karla(right) and chen(left)
more pictures to come...!!!
silent_incantations
were spoken at...3:17 PM
~Same Ground~
For my(still special)someone...
" Same Ground "
My love,
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.
Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted if until there was you.
Because i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.
[Chorus:]
But now i don't understand why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?
My love because i have learned that love is a
word gets thrown a little bit too much.
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
i never have to if all else fail
would you be there to love me?
when all else fail, would you be brave to see right
through me?
- The lyrics, it's some sort of torture but somehow soothes a soul of one who has just experienced heartbreak or a break up. Listening to it hurts but pero ang sarap paring pakinggan, based from my experience that is. And the last part of this song is for my someone and also for my self. La lang.. The lyrics.. without a doubt, attracts a lot of people (yung mga emo jan ha hehe kasama na ako) Kudos to Kitchie! \m/
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:26 PM
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
~Eat! Eat! Eat!~
Mann, I'm so hungry I could eat a cow! I haven't eaten , just now. I have tummy ache, well that was before I ate lucky me noodles.. *yumyum* I'm currently waiting for my sandwiches to arrive. I'm still hungry. Nga pala, even though I have a big appetite these days, I'm still surprised my classmates keep on sayin I'm getting thinner(sexier! yebah!) .Pero I'm still having difficulties with my mom about my"eating habits". Di lang nya kasi ako nakikitang kumain! pero ang lakas ko kumain ngayon noh! Not like before.. I always skip meals in the past, but not anymore.
Kakatapos lang ng play namen kanina. We had two shows. The First show was for 1st and 2nd year and the 2nd, for the 3rd and 4th yr's. Well, it turned pretty well for the first show. The 2nd show wasn't that good. We were so tired of running back and forth, circling around the elementary department and fixing the props. Mann, but I did well for my part. I think I did pretty good actually as Achilles' mother, Thetis (Ack!) I do hope we get to be chosen as the best! And some "conflicts" were fixed among the characters. La lang.. I thought there would be drama kasi. ahihihih...
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:05 PM