Wednesday, October 06, 2004
I just gotta let this out..
I'm so paranoid right now.. Can't calm myself down.. I can't get this jittery feeling to evanesce! damn it! After I read "that" I can't help but feel so paranoid! I feel so skeptical about it right now.. Ugh. uhm.. wat if..?! wat if..?! ugh grrrrrr!!!
These dubious thoughts keep on twirling inside my head and eventually makes my eyes all bleary. Okay, so I admit it.. I am a perferct example of an anachronism. I'm still stuck in that state where you feel like everything that's happening around you is equivocal and ambiguous,every mawkish words you hear is feign and decietful and if you put down your guard, it might even destroy you!
You can't get doubt out of your system,it controls you. Like a puppet manipulated by the puppetmaster. Nadir dominated by the zenith. You think of every flaw that you can think of and blame it on him even if it happened a long time ago. I'm still cradled in yesterday's spellbinding arms that wouldn't let go.
I can't get over this feeling. It makes me feel so weak. Each one of us has his or her own downfall. This is mine. No matter how hard I try to hide my emotions, situations like this bring out the frail side of me. It makes me feel so pathetic. It urges me to hurt myself. Then there's this deep desire of cutting though I promised never to do it again. This feeling. This overwhelming desire wherein you lust for hurt, physically. It makes me wanna get my blade out of it's long retirement.
Oh how I wish this "writer's block would end. I write poetry to divert my attention. I want to recrudesce myself back into writing poetry after this long period of quiescence. But it seems that my ingenious mind and inquisitiveness for poetry has vanished. I wanna write.. I wanna write! *sigh* I suppose my poetic mind is still in it's deep slumber.
It I cant get out of this puzzle. Seek I did for an exit. There was none.
silent_incantations
were spoken at...2:15 PM
*stupid face*
Name: it's Karla, bitch. (Britney inspired!)
Age:19
School: University of Santo Tomas
Course: Journalism (shifting is never too late..T_T)
Year: 3nd Year na!
Karla loves PURPLE, eyeliners, ube, books, pen-pushing, criticizing people, whining about schoolwork, pissing people off, create blogskins/websites, draw, write poetry.
Karla is a BUM and will eat anything without veggies. She will remain single for life(daw...) She lurves anime, j-rock and music(too many genres to elaborate..)
Speak To Me:
E-MAIL / YM:
blasphemousbiatch
Friendster:
killed_by_vanity@yahoo.com
x_sinisterkiss_x@yahoo.com
my other sites..(they're all abandoned! don't bother visiting them! i just posted them here for no reason at all..)
My 1st LiveJournal (already abandoned)
( Click here)
(or go to http://www.livejournal.com/~_deviantspirit)
My 2nd LiveJournal (abandoned as well)
( Click here)
(or go to http://www.livejournal.com/x_valkyrie_x)
My Tabulas account (dont even think about it.)
(Click here)
(or go to http://www.tabulas.com/~eureka)
My Devianart account(will remain hidden forever. =P~)
